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At first glance, past experiences of prolonged trauma might seem mostly negative, especially if your mind and body are still reeling from their effects. However, as is the case with any adversities, they come with their rewards. The strength of these rewards depends on many factors, including the individual and how he or she frames their trauma internally and the surrounding support system that may or may not exist in the aftermath.
Healing is an ongoing journey and is hardly ever a one-size-fits-all formula. But if an individual is to successfully process their traumatic experiences and reflect on them, there are actually many long-term benefits that can arise from such persistent mental and emotional fortitude. I’ve listed five of my favorite “superpowers” below. There are many more, but these seem to be the most noteworthy.
1. Elevated empathy
Empathy is the ability to recognize another person’s thoughts and feelings. Empathy keeps us connected, allowing us to extend compassion and forgiveness to others when they are struggling.
Research shows that trauma survivors have a heightened sense of empathy due to their own hardships. An adult who was beaten as a child will recognize the pain and humiliation felt in those moments and will be more likely to reconsider violence as a form of punishment for their own children. Of course, this highly depends on the individual and whether he or she dealt with the emotions resulting from having a primary caregiver be a source of fear rather than a source of love. Otherwise, this can trigger a cycle of abuse, causing the victim to become the abuser themselves, and perhaps an even more aggressive one.
It’s important to recognize that the abuse we endure, especially when we are reliant on a caregiver, is never our fault. That being said, it is still our responsibility to change course and ensure history doesn’t repeat itself. Empathy cannot happen fully unless we have experienced pain, humiliation, or despair ourselves. If we deny our pain, humiliation, or despair, we cannot possibly relate to them in someone else. So, pry yourself open, even when it hurts. Let yourself feel the good and the bad, so that you strengthen your empathetic superpowers and never, ever replicate your own trauma in the generations that follow.
2. Heightened appreciation for life (more gratitude)
Trauma is a vague term that looks different for everyone. It can be anything from witnessing a gruesome murder or fighting in a war to domestic violence or sexual abuse. Catastrophic injuries and near-death experiences can also have devastating effects on the brain and body due to stress and unresolved fear or grief. Such calamities, however, can allow us to have a deeper appreciation for life and express more gratitude for what we do have, especially when second chances are involved. Trauma can also help us clarify what really matters most to us.
Being exposed to the darkest shades of life often raises our capacity to see the brightest. It’s a harsh contrast that only those who’ve known tragedy are able to recognize. When your entire world was once felt as misery, it makes the small samples of pleasure feel like ecstasy. It also makes you aware of your headway. Those who start the hike only a mile from the summit will never feel as satisfied as someone who started from ground level, or rock bottom, if you will. Greater challenges, reap greater rewards, including renewed insight, a metamorphosing perspective, and the knowing that you accomplished something most people can’t.
3. Your relationships, though fewer, will be more meaningful
Depending on your mindset as a trauma survivor, days can either seem pointless or precious. Assuming you’re the latter, you will crave deeper, more intimate connections that stir your soul. Mediocre relationships will no longer satiate you. When it comes to people, you will lean towards quality over quantity, letting superficial friendships fall to the wayside.
People who experience trauma also tend to inadvertently isolate themselves by classifying themselves as victims, thus widening the gap with non-victims. This is partially because trauma causes us to see the world through different lenses, as our experiences shape how we perceive our reality. These vastly different lenses create a divide between the two groups, making survivors ultimately feel misunderstood and non-survivors feel “fed up.”
However, a tradeoff is that they may form a more powerful and all-consuming bond with those who supported them in times of trouble, or even those deemed as relatable. As in, a sexual assault survivor may form a strong attachment with a fellow rape victim, for they will speak a language that only a select few will understand. They say misery loves company, and trauma survivors certainly love the company of one another.
For those who are still stuck in the phase where life seems pointless, know that this feeling is transitory. Let your trauma act as a filtering system and let the relationships it leaves behind, be with the sort of people who see your worth, even if the only person that ends up being is you.
4. Greater self-awareness
Self-awareness is our ability to look inward – to observe our own behaviors and thought patterns, and decipher why they’re happening. Picture yourself dating someone with the same name as your ex. If your ex was unfaithful to you, you might automatically feel distrustful towards your new partner, even though they did nothing wrong. If you recognize that your behavior was shaped by past experiences, that is what we call self-awareness.
Trauma can cause individuals to be more in touch with their burning feelings and their bodily responses, especially since their nervous systems are constantly on high alert. Not to mention, many survivors seek the support of a professional to help them understand the physical manifestations that may result from their traumas. Breathwork, meditation, and yoga are all recommended and often practiced among trauma survivors, and each of these techniques has been proven to promote higher awareness and mindfulness.
5. You become more resilient to life’s everyday challenges
An adult who fought for their life every day as an abused or neglected child will naturally become more resilient to life’s everyday challenges. Without much effort, your barometer recalibrates as you become attuned to daily struggles. Suddenly a flat tire or a burglary at your apartment complex no longer fazes you. And while everyone else falls prey to turbulence by misplacing their sense of calm or wisdom, you still manage to keep yourself in check.
I would be remiss if I did not mention the dozens of trauma survivors I’ve met who are not just showing up every day despite some extremely distressing past experiences, but thriving when life tries to shove them down again (and again).
Trauma is not a weakness. It is the salt of our souls. When processed in a healthy way, it can even be our superpower. The thing that prepares us for the worst of times, while helping us to stay connected with the best of people. It helps us see things from entirely ever-changing perspectives, and problem-solve where others might freeze up. But perhaps the most beautiful trait about trauma is that it teaches us to miraculously self-heal from the very things that were meant to destroy us.
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Photo by T Kristin Unsplash
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