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When you were a kid, I’m sure you have faint memories of mom, dad, or your guardian pestering you about the importance of eating well. You might have heard phrases such as, “Eat your broccoli, it will make you like Spiderman,” or “If you finish your peas and carrots, you will be rewarded with a Creamsicle bar.” We were well-trained in filling our bodies with nutritious, growth-spurt-expediting foods, even if our faces grimaced in reply. Many of us had to acquire these wholesome tastes over the course of many years, especially if it involved something leafy and wilted or resembled a fungus that we swore we’d seen growing on the oak tree in our backyard.
Eating well is important because it gives us energy, and it keeps us thriving. If we were to stuff our stomachs with sugary treats and greasy takeout food, though we might maintain an illusion of fullness in the short term, we’re not going to walk away with sustained energy. Instead, we might even crash as a result of a blood sugar spike. This is why it’s crucial to fill up with quality fuel, so we can really go the distance.
Unhealthy food tends to be one of the more common ways that we try and “fill” ourselves, especially when we’re feeling down. However, all it ever does is leave us more empty than before we took our first initial bite. Besides our eating habits, I’d like to touch on a few other ways we inadvertently strip away our happiness by filling our bodies, minds, and spirits with things that fail to reciprocate in a positive way.
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1. Passing the Time With Streaming Services
Who doesn’t love a good series that has your brain in a spiral for days? Sometimes, TV is educational, like David Attenborough’s Planet Earth. Sometimes, it forces us to ponder ourselves and the world around us – especially when truth proves stranger than anything fiction could muster up. But mostly, it serves as a major distraction that has no intention of improving our lives or getting us any closer to achieving our goals. It might achieve the goal of relaxation, yes, but even a hot bubble bath by candlelight could achieve this goal without trapping us in a perpetual brain-cation for an unknown number of episodes. Give yourself a limit of only watching series three days a week, or keep it to only two episodes in an evening. Ask yourself, “What is the purpose of only ever absorbing someone else’s creations without ever creating something for myself?”
2. Mindless Social Media Feed Scrolling
We’ve all been guilty of this one. Though scrolling through feeds, whether that be social media or celebrity gossip, may seem innocent in the moment, it is a massive time waster. Two minutes easily slip into two hours, and the only thing we’ve accomplished is the occasional finger flick to heart an image we may or may not actually like. Any system that thrives from the endorsements of others and our own insecurities will wreak havoc on our mental health over time.
Try this for a swap: read articles from sources you trust about topics that thrill you or ignite a fire in your soul. Sick of reading? Try a podcast or audiobook and let someone else do the talking for you.
Be mindful of news stories, because even those can suck you into a pit of misery. In fact, there have been direct links between news addiction and poor mental and physical health. Obsessively checking the news to uncover yet another mass shooting, terrorist attack, violent protest, or wildfire, makes us feel momentarily powerless, feeding into our anxiety about what will come next. There is a fine line between informed and media overload. Check your sources, take everything with a grain of salt, and allow yourself to have boundaries. You can’t save everyone, but at least if you’re taking good care of your own well-being, you’ll be in a much better position to help others.
3. Being Indoors Too Much
Scientists say we need anywhere from ten to thirty minutes of sunlight a day. And, unfortunately, windows block UVB rays, so you won’t be able to increase your Vitamin D levels by sitting next to a sun-drenched window. Vitamin D has been known to not only reduce stress and boost the immune system, but it also actively fights depression by increasing serotonin levels. So, staying indoors all day, especially if you’re forced to work within beige office walls during the sunniest hours of the day, may be compromising both your mental and physical health. Try opting for a walk or a bike ride instead of driving if the weather will permit it and the distance is pedestrian-friendly. Eat lunch outside during your break, and make determined efforts to surround yourself with the great outdoors on the weekends. Obviously, season and location all impact the number of sunny days we’re allotted, but control what you can.
4. Sitting & Staring at a Computer Screen
Computer comas are real, and not only do they cause eye strain but you also tend to blink less as a result of staring at the blue light, which can cause dry and irritated eyes. Blue light has also been known to restrict melatonin production, which impacts your circadian rhythm, making it more difficult to drift off to sleep. As if this wasn’t enough, it also makes it more difficult to awaken the next day. It’s no secret that mood is dramatically affected by how much sleep we get. So, that’s why screen-staring made its way to the list. Minimize your screen time and optimize your health. If minimizing your screen time isn’t an option, consider wearing blue-light-blocking glasses, adjusting the lighting on your phone and computer screen, or remembering to give your eyes a break every twenty minutes or so.
5. Oversleeping
Sleep is obviously a crucial part of our everyday lives. Without it, we’d be like the walking dead, going through the motions, never accomplishing anything, and occasionally trying to devour our neighbors. But too much sleep isn’t great either. Oversleeping (> 9 hours/night) is actually linked to a number of health problems, similar to under-sleeping (< 7 hours/night), including anxiety, depression, obesity, diabetes, and coronary heart disease. People who oversleep also tend to receive less natural light exposure, exercise less frequently, and are less likely to eat a well-balanced diet – all of which impact mental health as well. Try setting multiple alarms for yourself (even on the weekends) to avoid sleeping past eight hours. At first, removing yourself from your cloud bed is going to feel like cruel and unusual punishment only reserved for the most dangerous of criminals, but eventually, you will create a routine for yourself, and you’ll be amazed at all you can accomplish with those additional hours.
6. Spending Time With the Same People
If you have a close circle of friends, consider yourself lucky. But if you’re only ever surrounding yourself with the same beliefs, opinions, morals, and politics, then you’re probably limiting the breadth of your perspectives. Spending time with people who think differently than you do, will not only enhance your self-awareness, but it will make you more accepting of others, and teach you how to think critically. Why is this good for our health and happiness? How could learning to understand ourselves and the world better or being challenged to think beyond our usual scope not be beneficial for our character? Of course, we’d also be opening ourselves up to new friendships we might not have otherwise considered, and who wouldn’t want more friends?
7. Binge Drinking
This one speaks for itself. Alcohol is a double-edged sword that, when used in small doses, can reward you with snorting laughter and merriment, but most of us don’t respect our own limitations. We drink on empty stomachs, don’t take our body mass index (BMI) into consideration, and rip shots like there’s no tomorrow, only to find ourselves hungover and full of regrets the following morning, cursing ourselves under our breath about how we’ll never, ever drink again. If a friend lied to you that often, after a while, would you trust their word?
When I was in college, I saw a therapist specifically for my alcohol dependency. Rather than making me cut out drinking entirely from my weekly regimen, which we both knew was wishful thinking, she provided me with a few helpful, yet very simple tips that I am going to share with you: Beer or wine only. Avoid shots and drinking games like the plague. Eat a full meal beforehand. Know the number you plan on capping yourself off with and stick to it. Limit yourself to only one drink an hour. Guzzle a glass of water for every glass of alcohol.
But perhaps the most life-changing advice she gave me was this: when you start to feel the warm, melty feeling that you just worked so tirelessly for, your first inclination will be to drink more and faster to maintain that feeling, but what you really should be doing is slowing down, so that you can maintain the warm buzz without sinking straight into the drooly, wobbly, mess that you normally become. Is your mind blown? I know. I almost didn’t believe her either. Needless to say, I haven’t endured a blackout since.
8. Negative Self-Talk
How we speak to ourselves has an impact on our emotional stamina, our interactions with others, and how we perceive every passing moment. It can be the difference between success and surrender, opportunity gained or lost. If we choose to speak to ourselves with kindness, compassion, and patience, just as we might a friend or acquaintance, then the rest of the world will rise to meet this standard, or will fall away without notice if they can’t make the cut.
Negative self-talk has become an addiction for humankind. “You messed up again, didn’t you?” we ask ourselves rhetorically as if anticipating the outcome all along. This sort of talk, though seemingly harmless can take a massive toll on our mental health. Soon, the sky-high expectations we once had for ourselves plummet, dreams start sounding “too good for us,” and we falsely assume that the life we want is reserved only for those with smoother hair, trendier wardrobes, wittier minds, and fancier degrees. It’s a white lie we tell ourselves after our first ever rejection or bad mark on a test, and those white lies only grow fiercer as life progresses.
How do we overcome our inner critic? Firstly, don’t take it too seriously. It’s not actually you. It’s a small part of your subconscious mind that, when bored, seeks entertainment through merciless judgment. Observe this part of yourself, and offer it grace. You know you’re doing the best you can, so why not remind your inner critic of this? When you make a silly mistake, laugh at yourself. When you make the wrong choice, forgive yourself and know for next time. Give yourself the same grace you would a relative, a colleague, or the cashier at the convenience store. Your present and future self will thank you.
9. Excessive Worrying
In modest doses, stress is good for us. It keeps us from running out into the middle of a six-lane motorway and reminds us that we’re not immortal. Death is very much a part of life, and if we want to live past our teens, then we must keep our wits about us in stressful situations.
Mind you, most of us don’t regularly encounter life-or-death situations that force us into the sort of survival modes that our bodies were built for. Many of us are prone to excessive worry, which keeps us in a constant state of panic and tricks our nervous systems into thinking there is danger when there is not. Why is this bad? Too much stress overexposes our bodies to cortisol, which is a hormone that causes an increased heart rate and blood pressure, putting us at risk for an overwhelming number of health issues. Some prevalent issues amongst high-stress individuals include depression, diabetes (due to the increase in blood sugar levels), suppressed immune system, digestive problems, and heart disease.
Though there are many situations when stress and worry are inevitable, there are ways you can bring your nervous system back to a state of calm. If yoga isn’t your cup of tea, try something more aggression-releasing, like martial arts. If you’re not much of a meditator, go for a nature walk. Is your mind racing too fast for you to focus on reading a soothing book? Try unleashing on a friend. You don’t necessarily have to talk about whatever it is that’s stressing you out. Sometimes, it helps to distract yourself with an unrelated topic. Come back to in when you’re ready, but at least you got your cortisol levels down and your nervous system no longer believes you’re about to die a horrible death.
10. Comparing Yourself to Others
There is always going to be someone faster, wiser, and cooler than you. But here’s the thing we often forget when comparing our own lives with that of another: we neglect to consider the whole picture. Your best friend might earn double your salary, but what sort of work are they doing for a living, and are they happy doing it? If you’re going to compare yourself to this person, then compare with accuracy. Compare their benefits, their boss’s management style, their office setting, and their work-life-balance.
Oh, so you think they’re a more generous person than you, too? Well, what was their childhood like? What traumas are they still reeling from? You can’t compare a child of Mary Poppins to a child of disaster. The way the two respond to life’s hurdles is going to be drastically different. You don’t know everyone’s history. You only know your own. You also know the pretty picture that the public chooses to present to you. That’s it. Trust me, there is more beyond the surface than you realize.
Don’t preoccupy yourself with envy and bitterness, rather, focus on what you think happiness looks like for you. Maybe a higher salary would entail longer working hours and time away from your family, so maybe happiness to you looks like not having to stress about bills while still having ample time at home. Maybe you don’t want your career to be your focal point. Maybe you just want to have enough to have your needs met so that you can make being a parent your next mission, or pursue creative endeavors on the side. It’s your time. Spend it how you want.
Comparing ourselves to others is where a lot of our negative self-talk originates from. Like so many unhealthy things we try and fill ourselves with, comparison will only leave us feeling more empty. The only person you should ever be in competition with is yourself. Surpass your own expectations. Stride ahead of your most recent goals.
Compete to be better than someone else, you might lose. Compete to be better than your previous self, you just might win.
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Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash
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