Every morning hits me like a ton of bricks without the help of drugs or alcohol. They are unwelcoming and unrelenting, but worst of all, predictable, as they uncoil me from bed with the same whimpers of worry.
I see the day like the arcade game of Frogger, where I’m expected to navigate a river full of life-threatening obstacles such as sinking logs or ravenous crocodiles. Every aspect of my life feels like an impossible hurdle and I’m teetering over the edge waiting to witness my own demise.
Every closet in my apartment represents a hiding place for the most gruesome serial killers, every dark alleyway is an armed robber waiting for their perfect moment to press a fully-loaded gun into my temple or a freshly sharpened switchblade into my jugular.
As you can imagine, trust is yet another impossible feat. Every employer is seconds away from terminating my contract. Every person I love is moments away from jumping on a train in the middle of the night and leaving me without so much as a goodbye letter.
So long as my boyfriend responds to my anxious pleads within the hour, I’ll be able to exhale. If not, you can be certain that my mind will run through its usual list of brutal worst-case-scenarios.
“He didn’t respond to my text, surely he was run over by an eighteen-wheeler. Or perhaps he’s having an affair with some Ariana Grande look-alike he met at the gym.“
The whirlwind of worries never ceases.
Even sleep provides no escape. Anxiety simply creeps in, in the form of nightmares. I’m always late for something, running for my life or deemed useless and banished by my loved ones. I wake up in cold sweats asking my thrashing heart how long it will hold me captive.
But this is just the way my life has always been, or at least as far back as my memory will take me.
I’m not proud to admit how much my anxiety consumes my everyday life but it is very much a part of who I am. To deny it would be pointless, it’s one of the few remaining constants in my life. I can, however, explore different coping mechanisms – ones that don’t involve swallowing any doctor-prescribed pills. I’m sure most of these mechanisms can help you too, especially since many of them have been proven to have a positive impact on our mental and emotional well-being.
. . .
1. Meditate (for at least 15-20 minutes daily)
My favorite type of meditation is a visualization or manifestation meditation, which has you focus on all the goals you’d like to achieve in life and then imagine yourself having already achieved those goals as a way to bring them to fruition.
There is also mindfulness meditation, loving-kindness meditation, mantra meditation and so many more. Meditation is a great way to reduce negative emotions, increase self-awareness, become more present and manage stress. Research suggests that there are also a handful of health conditions that are said to be relieved from the practice.
2. Recite positive affirmations
According to Positive Psychology, reciting positive affirmations regularly can motivate, boost self-esteem, influence health for the better and make us more resilient to troubles when they arise.
3. Write in a gratitude journal
If you don’t have one already, buy one. You can either get a blank one and record a page or two of grateful sentiments each night before bed or you can purchase a guided journal that prompts your responses such as Zen As F*ck: A Journal for Practicing the Mindful Art of Not Giving a Sh*t, by Monica Sweeney. This journal lists a whole bunch of fun written activities to get your tranquility juices flowing.
Psychology Today discusses all sorts of proven benefits of keeping a gratitude journal – everything from enhanced empathy and mental strength to reduced aggression and better sleep. Even your relationships are more likely to flourish.
4. Express yourself
The journal is great for gratitude but sometimes giving that expression a voice can be even more healing, especially if you’re an introvert. If you’re broke like me, and can’t afford therapy, this is the next best thing. I started this blog Old Soul Searching, for this exact reason. I wanted to be able to share my thoughts aloud with the world, which I found incredibly empowering.
Even if no one else follows your blog, podcast, YouTube channel or whatever platform your decide to use, at least you’re shoveling through the thick of your mind and unloading it. You’re going deep within. And sometimes that’s the best therapy of all.
5. Spend time with or call your loved ones
Never underestimate the power of love. If you’re feeling anxious and alone, chances are you could be isolating yourself. When was the last time you picked up the phone and talked to your parents, siblings or college buddies?
According to Psychology Today, people who feel more connected to others have lower rates of anxiety and depression. Studies have shown a positive correlation between human connection and higher life expectancy and strengthened immune systems.
Humans are social creatures, it makes sense right? So even if you’d rather sell all your belongings and move to the mountains with no one but your dog, I challenge you to reach out to your loved ones anyway. For all you know, it could be the secret ingredient you’ve been missing.
6. Spend time in nature
There’s nothing like the crisp morning air filling your lungs as you’re hiking granite peaks or wandering through verdant forests. There’s something so humbling about nature and it helps us humans put things into perspective.
According to Harvard Health, simply taking a walk in the woods can not only help reduce stress, anxiety and depression but it can also help with memory. The silence of nature paired with the soothing scenery can be enough to hit the pause or even reset button on our continuous loop of negative emotions. It can also lower blood pressure and reduce levels of the stress hormone, cortisol.
So get outside, get some vitamin D. Nature is yet another form of therapy we don’t have to pay for.
7. Cook a wholesome meal or bake a sweet treat
There have been many studies on culinary therapy but I think this one is a personal preference. Cooking can either stress you out more (like having to prepare Thanksgiving dinner), or it can alleviate stress and allow you to cancel out petty distractions, like your phone.
But if you’re on your own or even with a few others it might be fun to dissect Pinterest for some fun recipes. Especially since fewer people are going out to eat during the pandemic, it’s a great time to channel your inner Betty Crocker and distract your mind from other stresses.
8. Do Yoga
Similar to meditation, yoga is another self-soothing technique that can help to reduce stress and anxiety. According to Harvard Health, yoga modulates stress response systems, which can ease respiration, reduce heart rate and lower blood pressure. Some studies also suggest that since yoga can help regulate stress, it can also increase pain tolerance.
So hop on YouTube and do some Vinyasa flow. All you need is a yoga mat, a laptop and a decent Wi-Fi connection and you can instantly start the practice in your own bedroom or living room.
9. Listen to relaxing music
Try maybe also lighting some scented candles (and drawing yourself a long overdue bubble bath). I love this perfect combination of serenity. Productivity levels increase as stress levels drop, so if all it’s going to take is a little classical music to get you moving again, why not just do it?
According to Healthline, music can have a positive effect on our ability to memorize and learn, it can build task endurance, help treat mental illness, lighten moods, help manage pain, boost exercise performance, decrease fatigue and increase heart health. And of course, in addition to all these wonderful benefits, it can also defeat those pesky pangs of anxiety.
10. Have Sex
Sex has a variety of stress management components according to Very Well Mind, including deep breathing, sense of touch, endorphins, social support and a physical workout (not to mention it’s just fun).
11. Read something that’s good for the soul or watch a happy movie like Little Miss Sunshine
There are so many books and films out there but only a small portion of them will be worth your time and attention.
As someone who suffers from anxiety, I try and filter out as many violent books/movies as I can. These tend to annihilate my inner garden of zen and make me even more anxious. So I limit what I allow my eyes to feast on like a strict mother would her adolescent child. Guns, explosions, warfare and anything involving bloodshed are to be avoided in times of stress.
Instead, I suggest gravitating towards feel-good films and self-help/spirituality books. I promise you, only good will come of it.
One of my favorite quick reads, which I actually prefer as an audiobook, is Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. This book is all about balance and will surely leave you with an altered life perspective when it’s done with you.
Another one I suggest is May Cause Miracles, by Gabrielle Bernstein. In this guidebook, Gabby has you shift your mindset with a variety of affirmations and exercises. I currently have reminders set on my phone, reminding me that I am responsible for everything I see around me and that I have the power to change it, and so on.
Also, any of Rhonda Byrne’s books are life-changing if you haven’t read them already. I’m sure you’re already familiar with The Secret, but have you also read The power or Hero? I can’t vouch for these books enough. Why read something that isn’t going to teach you or better you in some way?
. . .
When all these mechanisms fail, and I’m still overwhelmed by my emotions, I tell myself one phrase that helps me forge bravery every time without fail. Funny enough, I heard the quote from the family film, We Bought a Zoo and it’s never really left my head.
In the film, Benjamin Mee states that all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage to make something great happen. That’s all, just those twenty seconds.
“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”– Benjamin Mee
“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”– Benjamin Mee I hadn’t even seen the movie, it was just a preview and yet that was all those words needed to seep into my spirit. Now, anytime I’ve got my feet dangling over the edge of something terrifying – and life gives us plenty of these moments – I think of Benjamin Mee. I think of those twenty seconds of courage.
What made his words stand out to me was how reasonable those twenty seconds sound. I thought to myself, I can embrace anything for just twenty seconds.
Those words have helped me overcome every obstacle because it doesn’t require me to be heroic for those other 86,380 seconds in a day – just twenty.
Sometimes all it takes is one idea, one person, one book, one song, one film, one activity, one phrase to change your life forever.
So when you get stuck and life becomes too much to swallow, just remember, you only need to survive those twenty seconds. After those twenty seconds have passed, the worst will be over. You will have initiated that discussion, sent that resume, confronted that colleague, asked that person on a date. Your life will already be changed for the better because all it took was those twenty seconds when (for once) you didn’t allow your anxiety to get the best of you.
. . .
Photo by Mehrpouya H on Unsplash
Originally published on Medium
Subscribe to Old Soul Searching and get more motivational insights straight to your inbox!
