Sometimes being treated poorly is the only thing that’s more riveting than being treated well. It’s the reason why we endure neglect and abuse as if they’re the company we’ve always secretly longed for.
All around us we get to witness the mini skits of bad relationships and oftentimes we even judge from a distance, thinking to ourselves how we’d never be pitiful enough to lay down as someone else’s doormat – at least until it happens to us. Judgment is far too easy when we’re not staring down the barrel of our own poor decisions. It lets us off the hook when in reality we had no clue what it felt like to be on the hook in the first place. To those of you who have been on the hook, or maybe still are – what is it that makes the venom of others so intoxicating to you?
There’s something about dancing with danger that makes it impossible to walk away, no matter how many times it spins us off our axis. Was it that sprinkle of kindness that revealed itself that one time many years ago? Is that why we stay? Or is it simply the thrill of walking on the edge of madness?
Every single one of us seeks recognition for something. We all want to feel like we were put on this earth for a reason other than to eat, sleep, grind, repeat, and die. Maybe that’s why we look for these feelings in all the wrong people. We think that if we can’t make ourselves feel special, maybe someone else will. And that’s why that tiny glimmer of humanity we witnessed all those times ago, is worth holding on to. That’s how stomaching cruelty becomes second nature.
I can’t tell you how many tender souls I know who are trapped in relationships completely barren of love. What’s worse is they don’t believe they’re worthy of a lover whose warmth matches their own. Plus, who could deny the ecstasy that comes from the flurry of intensifying highs and lows? Aren’t we all secretly addicted to the high of not knowing how our dramas will resolve? Perhaps the part of us that pays our bills just moments before they’re due, is the same part that finds enjoyment out of drinking poison.
Every one of us occasionally succumbs to what we know deep down isn’t good for us, and that’s okay. The sad truth, however, is that we may inadvertently be denying ourselves a chance at genuine connection, a chance at real love. The kind that never fades or falters.
As the only species capable of loving the way we do, we shouldn’t settle for unremarkable. It’s a disservice not only to us but to the beautiful whole that we’re a part of.
We all enter this world with a full goblet of self-worth, and although life has a way of making us spill in puddles, we can decide to fill ourselves back up. We can cut ties with those who no longer serve us. We can start anew. And maybe someday, even, we can start to see ourselves as the priceless works of art we truly are.
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Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
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