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When is the last time you asked yourself what it is you want right now? And when is the last time you asked this question without considering the way your aspirations will sound to those around you?
Social media can be an all-powerful tool or a thief of joy depending on how you use it, and if you’re not careful, it can influence the way you present yourself to others – sometimes at the cost of your own happiness.
If no one on this planet knew what you did for a living, would that change how you earned your money? If no one you knew personally was married, had children, or owned a house in the suburbs, would you still feel the urge to acquire these things by a certain timeline?
Happiness looks different for everyone. To some, it’s solitude amongst the serene expanse of sprawling mountains and with the company of a four-legged companion. To others, it’s bustling cities with infectious vitality – thrilling prospects within the realms of art, music, history, and culture. Or, maybe it’s simpler than that – the deep knowing that you dedicated your life to helping others. To feeding the underprivileged, to housing the homeless.
Happiness looks different for everyone.
How can we decipher what it is that will truly bring us, not just happiness, which is often reliant on external factors, but inner joy? Inner joy is not pursued, it is chosen. It also can never be taken away from us, unlike happiness.
Try silencing the notifications for a few days, and sit with yourself. What tugs at you before you drift to sleep at night? What nudges you when you try and speak over its demand for attention? What gives you the feeling of home and adventure all at the same time?
What do you think will be written about you in your eulogy? That you had thousands of Instagram followers? That you knew how to throw back whiskey? That you had the trendiest wardrobe, or that you made buckets of money? When we’re dead, none of that matters. It only matters how we treated others while we were alive. It only matters if we lived the best way we knew how.
We cannot possibly evolve into the best version of ourselves, and therefore, the best version for others, if we do not give ourselves permission to explore, take risks, and make mistakes. We cannot achieve any degree of joy or happiness by trying to reduce ourselves and our capabilities to what other people expect of us.
You do not need to settle. You do not need to match the objectives of your friend or neighbor. You do not need to cave into the person your parents thought you’d be. And you especially do not need to compete with Instagram influencers.
What does happiness look like for you? What will give you a lasting inner joy? The answer could be as simple as accepting yourself and pledging to stop comparing yourself to others. The answer could be incorporating more wellness habits into your daily routine.
Do what you need to do to get closer to the person you were before your friend group, hometown, or society played a role. Delete your socials, distance yourself from stunting friendships, and start a new career. Change is never easy, but if your life feels needlessly difficult right now, that could be the universe’s way of forcing you into discomfort so that you make a change yourself.
Happiness looks different for everyone. The first step is deciding what it looks like for you and then making space for it in your life. If you don’t have space, you’ll need to do some housekeeping. But trust me when I say, that you will look back on the moment you finally decided to have your own best interest in mind, and you will always be grateful. You will always be grateful you found the courage to take a chance on yourself.
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Photo by Pontus Wellgraf on Unsplash
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