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According to Cambridge Dictionary, the definition of tolerance is, “Willingness to accept behavior and beliefs that are different from your own, although you might not agree with or approve of them.”

The definition of intolerance is, “The fact of refusing to accept ideas, beliefs, or behavior that are different from your own.” Synonyms include words like “narrow-mindedness,” “injustice,” “bigotry,” “discrimination,” and “prejudice.”

As our world continues to diversify, learning to promote tolerance has become increasingly important. Without tolerance, our uniqueness and the nuances that make us who we are, cannot thrive. Just to be clear, tolerance is not the same as appreciating diversity, since we are more than capable of tolerating that which we do not like. Tolerance also does not imply neutrality.

Tolerance is simply a way to respect one another’s dissenting beliefs, values, and opinions, and coexist in a world made more innovative, productive, and stimulating by those differences. This means you do not need to feel as though you are surrendering your own values by separating amicably from a debate in which you and another person both agreed to disagree over your differing perspectives on abortion laws.

You also do not need to feel obliged to “win” the argument or change the challenger’s opinion to match your own. Opinions are just that – opinions. Don’t confuse them for facts. People shape them based on their own unique upbringings, customs and traditions, religious beliefs, political preferences, place of residence, and so on.

For a good portion of my young American life, I had lived in the United States, which is why I found the prospect of living abroad challenging, yet exhilarating. Following graduation, I took off not just to travel the world, but to live within it – to immerse myself fully in whatever local culture surrounded me. I ended up not returning home for seven years. During my time overseas, I received a lot of inquiries about America’s extortionately-priced universities, our healthcare system that drove middle-class families into bankruptcy, our unpaid and unguaranteed maternity leave policy, and our, at the time, misogynistic president, Donald Trump. These voices hailed everywhere from sun-soaked islands scattered off the coast of Spain to forgotten sheep towns in New Zealand. These people were genuinely afraid for me having to return to a country where gun violence was the norm and shootings occurred in middle and elementary schools.

Upon my return to the States, I was hit with dozens of similar inquiries, but phrased just the opposite. I was asked why on earth a U.S.-born citizen like myself would voluntarily choose to inhabit another country other than the supposed “best country in the world.” They claimed America had the most top-notch healthcare, the strongest military, and the most untouchable freedom. I was met with confusion and disapproval, as if I had turned my back on my home country.

One close relative even claimed to pity me for not agreeing with her stance that America is, in fact, the best country in the world. I suggested instead that other countries were not only equally as beautiful, safe, hard-working, brave, and accomplished, with thriving economies to go along with them, but that these foreign lands were also where I met some of my closest family, which I would always hold dear to my heart.

What I realized was that depending on the environment in which I placed myself, there was a huge diversity of opinions about what made a home a good home. I decided that it was pointless to convince my friends in other countries that America wasn’t as unsafe as the media made it out to be, and that there also wasn’t much point in convincing my American family that there is a world that exists beyond their doorstep, and beyond it lives the most incredible people you could ever meet, living just as magically. Instead, I vowed to step back and let everyone have their own opinions. I wasn’t going to change them anyway.

That’s not to say that we can’t politely inform one another of the growing evidence from our personal experiences and/or research that contributes to our views. So long as this can be done in a way that is neither condescending nor disrespectful.

Opinions are not facts.

I would like to believe, and again, that’s all it is, is a belief – that we can eventually live in a world that progresses toward tolerance rather than regresses away from tolerance. Whether that be tolerance of our belief systems, our racial, ethnic, or language differences, sexual orientation, gender identity, political views, religious affiliation, socioeconomic status, mental or physical disabilities, age, IQ, education level, occupation, marital status, number of children, homeownership status, and so on.

I know that the younger generations receive a lot of criticism for being selfish and entitled, but here is one of many things we have going for us: We are open-minded. The advancement of technology and social media has made open-mindedness a prerequisite to life, and we have been forced to adapt, like it or not. As a result, our views tend to be more malleable than the generations before us.

Knowing this, we may just need to practice even more tolerance around people with cast-iron points of view. We don’t necessarily need to convince the older generations that their views are prehistoric and obsolete. We simply need to understand where these opinions might be derived from, share a bit of insight about where our own opinions derive from, and leave it at that. Perhaps, if the debate is peaceful, each person can walk away having learned something. But if the debate quickly becomes heated, sometimes walking away is best. Sometimes recognizing when to pick each battle, is the most intelligent thing you can do.

Not every debate needs to be a battle, and not every opinion needs to be changed. The bottom line is, that differences will always exist among us, and what an incredible privilege that is. Personally, and this is just my opinion, but I think we all deserve to bask in that fact.

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Photo by Ava Sol on Unsplash

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