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Not taking the risk is just as risky as taking the risk. By doing nothing, you risk mediocrity and missing out on your heart’s desires. You miss adventure, you miss evolution, you miss wonder. The only thing you guarantee is failure.
Control is an illusion. It always has been and it always will be. There is no way to promise protection, there is only denial and falsehoods masquerading as truths. A diamond ring does not mean he’ll be yours forever. A newborn baby does not mean your loneliness will dissolve. A promotion cannot give you worth if you don’t have that worth to begin with. We look for things outside of ourselves to give us what we lack, even when they can be taken from us in an instant.
If most of the time you feel like a fraud, or find yourself simply going through the motions, what is the one thing that makes you feel otherwise that cannot be taken from your grasp? What makes you authentic? Is it painting, gardening, cooking, traveling, or rock climbing? What makes you willing to take risks?
You don’t have to choose one thing. You can have an assortment of chosen loves. Just make sure they’re chosen by you and you alone. If you don’t choose, sometimes life or people will choose for you, and you may not care for the end result. This is what simply coasting through life will eventually grant you – dissatisfaction.
Life is like a classroom. It requires our participation. You can sit at the back of the room and never raise your hand, but sooner or later, your peers will surpass you. Sooner or later, their risks will blossom into something beautiful, and your risk to say and do nothing will likely guarantee that nothing blossoms. Your fear of getting the answer wrong or looking dumb is exactly what will hold you back – literally.
Existing and living are not synonymous. Surviving is not thriving. How can you tell the difference? To live is to pursue something meaningful to you, driven by love and purpose. To exist is to occupy space without engaging with the world or actively pushing your own boundaries. In both cases, you might be breathing, but in only one you are alive.
If you suspect you might be existing now, don’t fret. It is natural to ebb and flow. Your time will come, but it will require your involvement. Lately, my own life has been more ebb than flow as I’ve come to accept how little control I have over the things I’ve acquired in my life, such as my relationships, my apartment, my job, and my income. I had to remind myself recently to look outside of these things for happiness – to attend yoga classes in naturally-lit studios, to see friends for brunches and movie nights, to read books that feed my mind, to let the sunshine tickle my skin on morning strolls. They say true joy comes from helping others, so this is something else worth investigating. I decided to begin volunteering at one of the local women’s shelters in Denver so that I can bring more flow into my life.
Never expect to be on a high all the time. Never shove away grief or sadness. You can still thrive while experiencing the full spectrum of emotions. You’re simply taking a pause to process. Fail to process, and you risk stagnation – which is the greatest risk of all. Risk your feelings, and it might hurt, but it most certainly will bring you a stronger You in the long run.
No one makes it out of this life without taking risks. There is only the choice of the type of risk we take. Will you risk a superficially comfortable existence for a life that takes your breath away, or will you risk staying small and still?
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Photo by Muzammil Soorma on Unsplash
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