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When you hear the word “addict,” do you conjure up an image of a powdered sugar nose or a man in a threadbare jacket trying to manage his unsteady gait, the scent of stale whiskey wafting through the air as he passes?  Do you think of all-consuming urges and twelve-step meetings?  

This is one form of addiction, but it certainly isn’t the only one. Compulsive shopping can be an addiction, as can binge eating, social media, the news, sex, and even achievement.  According to the National Institute of Health, escapism is a primary motive and amplifier of addictive behaviors. This means that we often seek relief from reality because the reality we’ve created can’t quite measure up to the one in our alternate universe of excess and gluttony.

Chances are, if you’re a human being who resides on planet Earth, you too, have some addiction of your own. You might have convinced yourself that it’s a healthy addiction, like chewing through a book a day or running ten miles before sunrise, but even these addictions can prove detrimental if it means we’re avoiding something deep within us.

When something bad happens to me, like I’m let go from my job or am recovering from a nasty breakup, my flight response tends to kick into gear. I busy myself with the sort of productive tasks that distract me in exactly the right way, like decluttering my closet or diving headfirst into some creative project that will likely cost me more than it will pay, but will remain a top priority for several years until completion. I busy myself well, but it doesn’t always serve me well. Because at its core, compulsive busyness or “workaholism” is just another perpetual cycle of craving, use, and withdrawal. It might not leave us with a hangover but it most certainly won’t make the demons disappear either.

So, what is your addiction? What is your vice? Your guilty pleasure? They say the first step toward recovery is admitting we have a problem, right? Well then, let’s be honest with ourselves. In this day and age, with the rising living costs, student debt, political instability, social justice issues, and needless exposure to the curated lives of internet fashion and travel influencers, it’s no wonder we’re looking to escape on occasion. And according to my very wise therapist, escapism is perfectly acceptable once in a while. It’s when it replaces our reality that it becomes problematic. When fictional characters in romance novels become easier to fall in love with than tangible human beings. When dating shows offer more entertainment than the activities of our own lives. When work schedules interfere with our well-being and our ability to connect with those around us.

Recognize where your addictions lie and then ask yourself why they’re there in the first place. Did that heartbreak from five years ago not heal as well as you’d hoped? Is that big dream too obscene to become yours and so you prefer to watch two-dimensional characters on Netflix achieve theirs instead? What are you avoiding and what might you be missing in the hours, days, weeks, and years you hide behind your addiction?

Reading is wonderful not only for its mental stimulation but for its stress reduction. Just don’t forget to bookmark your page and lift your face to the scene of your own setting. A setting that allows you to touch and to taste and to love. This is something your fictional characters will never have the pleasure of knowing (not really anyway).

If you wake at the crack of dawn to run a ridiculous number of miles each morning, your endorphins probably make you feel a lasting joy throughout the day and you probably don’t have to fear heart disease quite like the rest of us, but just remember to slow down every once in a while. Running blurs our surroundings, whereas walking lets us breathe it in. It lets us feel what we might have kept buried in the pit of our stomachs.

Too much of anything isn’t good. Even too many vegetables can cause issues due to gas, bloating, and heartburn. Balance is so important when it comes to healthy and sustainable living. If you’re someone who is addicted to excess on its own, as in, you have an addictive personality, consider teaming up with someone who can hold you accountable. Give dry January a try if you haven’t yet. Consider meatless Mondays. Small goals are always more attainable and once our momentum builds, we can strive toward larger goals.

Make your goals easier to achieve by minimizing opportunities for relapse. If you’re trying to take a break from social media, remove Instagram from your home screen. If you’re trying to shield both you and your wallet from impromptu shopping sprees, take a different route home from work that doesn’t involve passing your favorite shopping center. These are tough decisions to make the first time, but after that, it’s just maintenance.

If you’re someone who is lucky enough to spend your days doing what you love, whether that is art, music, writing, athletics, technology, or being a stay-at-home parent, keep yourself in that space if it brings you true joy. Just don’t forget to look up and acknowledge the world around you. And most importantly, don’t neglect what’s stirring beneath your soul. Sometimes we can only hear that stirring when it’s dead quiet. Sometimes we can only hear it in solitude or in nature. Whatever you do, please, oh, please, don’t run from it.

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Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

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