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Some people are born into this world with far greater privilege than others, but regardless of our origin, not one of us is immune to physiological or psychological pain. Life is filled with so many uncertainties that the only certainty contained within it, is uncertainty itself. It might bless us with true love only to have it ripped from us in an instant either by death or divorce. It might bless us with wealth and good fortune, but then leave us estranged from our loved ones. That’s because there are no guarantees. No promises made and kept. From the time we wake up in the morning, on any given day, our lives could change for better or worse without so much as a warning.
Why am I being such a Pessimistic Penelope today, you ask? It’s not pessimism so much as realism. To deny the tides of life is to live in a fantasy. It’s nothing to fear or run from, it’s just something to accept and welcome, as even our most tragic collapses can be our greatest teachers.
I’m stating the obvious to my readers because I think we sometimes forget that life is incredibly difficult and everyone is going through something unimaginable to us. Something we may never experience in our own lives, because we’re far too busy having our own experiences. And yet, we snap at one another for such trivial reasons. We judge people and their situations that we know nothing about. We target our anger at those who truly don’t deserve it.
We’re all guilty of this on occasion. But I really think it’s because we forget the simple fact that we are all struggling in our own way. That glare you might give someone on a bad day or that comment you might make behind someone’s back could be the thing that makes him or her break. This person could be on the verge of despair, or maybe even on the verge of taking his or her own life. It sounds extreme, maybe even dramatic, but I am not typing these words for theatrical appeal. I type them because, as is the case with many of my blog topics, I receive much of my data from live sources. Research, too, of course, but the real-life data is where things start to feel real.
I have had friends, acquaintances, and even coworkers confess that my reaction toward something they said, either completely turned their day around or confirmed their own biases that they aren’t good enough – even if that was never my intention to begin with. I’m not kidding when I say that these small interactions can sometimes be the difference between life and death. And more commonly, happiness and hopelessness.
Words are so powerful, but do you know what’s stronger? How we deliver them. Our tone of voice. Our sarcasm. Our patronizing inflections. These can all be misconstrued as something harsher than we intended.
Kindness is a word that gets thrown around a lot, but sometimes it feels like people forget to practice it. Believe it or not, I’ve actually been criticized for my kindness and informed that it made me uncool because I cared too much and got too emotionally involved. To add to that, I’ve also been told that my kindness made people assume I was unintelligent. Since when is affability associated with stupidity?
It’s strange to me because when we lose our ability to be kind to one another, we separate ourselves further from the rest of humanity. We focus on ourselves and our own story, forgetting that the story is only worth telling when there are others involved. When was the last time you read a book with one lone character? Have you ever seen a movie without supporting actors? We need one another more than we realize. Don’t let COVID-times make you forget that.
Independence is wonderful, but we survive longer in herds. So, the next time you see someone who seems a bit cut off from the rest of us, and even if you really don’t feel like it, choose kindness over cruelty. If more of us did this, it would create such a massive ripple effect, and all of our lives would be easier. Our bosses would be more compassionate, our employees would be harder working, and we would befriend one another effortlessly. There would be less mistrust, less gossip, and fewer hate crimes.
I mean, we say we want world peace, but what are we doing as individuals to actually make that happen? What little steps can we take to make someone else’s day a little brighter?
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Photo by Koen Emmers on Unsplash
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